Just The Way You Are
by tova77f
Summary: Kathryn makes a change to herself brought on by recent events. Takes place during Endgame...pre-Admiral Janeway.


_I do not own the characters of Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay...Paramount does. This idea came to me after seeing recent pictures of a "different" Kate Mulgrew at Creation Con. Please read and review...let me know what you think._

Kathryn stared at herself in the mirror. She wasn't sure what possessed her to do it, but she had done it anyway. Placing her hands on the sink, she remembered the incident three days ago that started it all...

Kathryn wanted to make a routine check of the supplies in the cargo bay. Everything had been fairly quiet and she decided to take some time away from the bridge. Walking into the cargo bay, she found Chakotay and Seven having what appeared to be a romantic picnic. She let out a gasp and both of them broke from their embrace, looking in her direction. Kathryn hurried out the door and didn't even stop when Chakotay called after her. When she finally reached her quarters, she curled up on the couch, tears had already started to spill over. She couldn't believe what she had seen..._my best friend and the man I have secretly loved for the last seven years is involved with Seven. He didn't wait for me after all...I kept him at bay for far too long_. Over the next several days, she made sure she stayed as far away from Chakotay as she possibly could. She was so afraid that one look into his eyes would cause her even more pain. Chakotay wasn't sure what to do. He knew she was hurting and every attempt to talk to her was quickly shot down. One morning when he was in the messhall with Seven, he saw Kathryn enter. They made eye contact for a split second before she quickly turned around and left. Chakotay tried to turn his attention back to Seven, but his thoughts were on Kathryn.

Kathryn's thoughts drifted back to the present and she wiped away the tears that had fallen. She was startled when she heard the chime. _Who could that be?_ "Computer, identify the person outside the Captain's quarters."

In its monotone voice the computer responded, "Commander Chakotay."

Kathryn began to panic. She couldn't let him see her like this. She grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her hair. Another chime sounded and she knew that if she didn't answer the door he would override the code and let himself in. She hurried through her bedroom and tried to calm herself as she stood at her door. The door opened to show Chakotay about to punch in the code.

"Commander, what can I do for you?" Chakotay cringed slightly at the use of his title.

"I was wondering if I could have a word with you, _Captain_?" The use of the title didn't go unnoticed and Kathryn moved aside to let him enter. "I haven't caught you at a bad time have I?" he gestured towards the towel wrapped around her head.

"No, I...um...just finished washing my hair." Both moved to sit down on the couch. Just as Kathryn sat down, she felt the towel slide a little and a strand of hair came out of hiding. She quickly tucked it back and hoped that Chakotay didn't see it.

Chakotay had caught Kathryn's quick movement..._It couldn't be. Was that a strand of blonde hair? _"Captain, is everything alright?"

"Of course, why do you ask?" She just wished he would say what he came to say and then leave.

"You just seem a bit nervous, that's all."

"I'm fine Commander, now, what did you want to see me about."

Before Chakotay was about to speak, he saw another strand of hair fall from under the towel. Kathryn saw it too and was bringing her hand up to quickly hide it, when Chakotay stopped her. "Commander?" Without saying a word he took his free hand and unraveled the towel from her head. Chakotay sat in shock, instead of auburn hair falling to her shoulders, it was replaced by blonde. Kathryn quickly got up and headed to her bedroom. Chakotay soon followed. He found her sitting on the edge of her bed, staring at the floor.

Chakotay knelt down in front of her. "Look at me Kathryn." When she refused to he grasped her chin with his hand and had her look directly at him. "Why did you do this?"

Kathryn shrugged, "impulse I guess. I wanted a change." She tried to move her head, but Chakotay wouldn't let her.

"That's bull Kathryn." He sighed before continuing, "Does this have to do with the fact that I've been dating Seven?"

Kathryn angrily pushed Chakotay's hand away, "how dare you insinuate that your love life has anything to do with this!" She closed her eyes, trying to keep the tears from coming.

Chakotay moved to sit beside her on the bed. "I'm not trying to _insinuate_ anything. I'm just trying to understand. Be honest with me Kathryn, why did you do it?"

Kathryn closed her eyes again. She couldn't do this...admit that someone's life dictated the actions of her own. Chakotay moved his hand over and took hers into his own. She opened her eyes and looked at him. "Tell me what's going on."

Kathryn sighed deeply before beginning, "I've kept you at arms length all these years and for some _stupid_ reason I thought you would wait for me until we got back to the Alpha Quadrant. I guess I was a fool to think that."

"Kathryn..."

She stopped him before he could say anymore. "Please, you have to let me finish or I won't be able to." Chakotay quietly nodded.

"When I saw you with Seven in the cargo bay, it hurt me deeply. I should have guessed something was going on with you. We haven't had dinner together in...well, I can't remember how long and I could tell that things had changed between us. At first I was shocked, you are my best friend and you never told me. After that I blamed myself, because I have let protocol dictate my actions. I simply handed you to Seven or any other woman that has come along, especially if they were blonde"

"Kathryn, that's not true."

"It is!" She paused, trying to calm herself. "Or have you forgotten about Riley or Kellin." Chakotay looked at her, he didn't think anyone else remembered Kellin's presence on Voyager. He couldn't himself remember being with her, only what he had written down. "I kept a journal of everything about Kellin's time here. When I read what I have written...I was so jealous of what you two had." She stopped. She couldn't talk anymore.

Chakotay was taken back by all this. He had always known that Kathryn had feelings for him, but this was the first time she had come close to revealing them. He brought his hand up and slowly started to rub her back as she broke down into tears. He leaned in and softly spoke into her ear, "I love you just the way you are."

Kathryn brought her hands up to her face and wiped away the tears. "What about Seven?"

"That's what I came here tonight to tell you. Seven and I broke things off. We both started to realize that it wasn't going to work out between us. I was flattered when she asked me on a date and after getting to know her a little more found her intriguing, but I think she knew my heart was with someone else." Chakotay moved closer and lightly kissed her on the lips. "And I promise you that I will wait, no matter how long."

"No!" Kathryn was surprised that she blurted it out so fast and her reaction confused Chakotay. "What I mean is I don't want to wait. This whole thing has made me realize just how much I love you and want to be with you. I don't want to wait until we get back to the Alpha Quadrant; it might be too late for the both of us. I want us together here and now."

Chakotay quickly took Kathryn into his arms and they passionately kissed. They moved apart and Kathryn smiled. "I love you Kathryn. I always have, I'm just sorry all this had to happen." Kathryn moved her fingers up to his lips and silenced him.

"I'm as much to blame for all this as you are. I just want to get past this and move on..._with you_." She smiled again and leaned in for another kiss.

"So tell me, what are you going to do about this?" Chakotay ran his hand through her blonde hair.

"What's the matter, don't you like it?" Kathryn gave him a mischievous smile.

"It's ok, but I love your natural color better. Besides, don't you think it will be a bit of a shock for the crew?" Kathryn was about to answer when her stomach let out a very noticeable grumble. This caused both of them to laugh.

"Hungry? How about we get something to eat? Why don't I let you freshen up a bit and then you can come by my quarters in an hour?" Chakotay got up and leaned down, giving Kathryn a kiss on her forehead.

"Alright, I'll see you then." Kathryn watched Chakotay leave her quarters. She smiled to herself as the evening's events unfolded again in her head. Then she had an idea. She quickly walked back to her bathroom to get ready for dinner.

An hour later, Chakotay heard the door chime. Smiling to himself he called for Kathryn to enter. He walked up to greet her and his smile widened. Before she could speak, he pulled her into a passionate kiss as his hand moved through her now auburn colored hair.

_I didn't want to spoil the whole thing about what "different" meant, but I'm sure you all figured out that yes, Kate Mulgrew went blonde. There are pictures of her on Jupiter Station's webpage._


End file.
